Wednesday, November 30, 2011

God sports some serious wood.

Best headline ever!

Courtesy of the LA Times:

A tree cut down at an Escondido church is causing a stir among the faithful after some people reporting seeing the shape of a cross or angel inside its trunk. 

Landscapers made the discovery on Monday while removing pine trees on the property of the 1st Congregational Church of Escondido. One of the workers, Salvador Maya, was the first to see the image — apparently formed in part by tree sap — and alerted his boss. 

"Salvador yelled at me, 'Look at this, it's a cross, something sacred!'" said Jim Rants, owner of Star Landscape Maintenance. "So I looked at it and thought 'Holy-moly, we've got something here. It's just amazing, and to be on church property, it's definitely something divine." 

Rants reported the finding to the church pastor. 

"It's been phenomenal," Debbie Cummings, the church's office manager, said of the response. "To people of faith, it's very comforting to see something. Of course some people say they see nothing, but there are always skeptics." 

People have called the church asking to buy the stump, Cummings said. 

Pastor Phil Corr said he plans to discuss the wood cut, which is safely stored in the church sanctuary, during his Sunday sermon titled "The Joy of Surprise." He also will display the log and talk about what the church plans to do with it. 

"People of faith have eyes to see this, but skeptics do not," Corr said.

"People of faith have eyes to see this, but skeptics do not." Well isn't that interesting?

So let me get this straight.  This vaguely cross like shape in a tree trunk, is proof of God's divine presence on earth, but this..

..is just a dog's butt? Pray tell, what is the difference exactly?

I share with you, my friends here on this blog, my excitement to have finally seen a divine image after years of fruitless searching and abject disappointment. And WHAT is my reward?

I was mocked.

I was chastised for being insensitive to religion.

And I was insulted.

So go ahead, please explain to me why a piece of knotty wood is a more appropriate place to find an image of holiness than a canine's ass. And if possible, please quote the Bible verse which backs up your argument.


My hurt feelings and I await your explanation.



67 comments:

  1. I come down firmly on the side of the dog's butt, and on mocking mindless idolatry.

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  2. Beldar Blaz Feemer Conehead4:21 AM

    Wait. So, let me get this right: the creator of the ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE - trillions of galaxies, stars, planets, quasars, black holes, species, etc. - has to resort to cheap parlor tricks like mold stains on shower curtains, burn marks on taco shells and termite damage in tree trunks in His image to AWE-ify His flock? Doesn't say much for His flock, now, does it?

    Isnt there a saying something like "The Sky-doG works In ridiculous ways"?

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  3. Anonymous4:28 AM

    I heart Gryphen!

    Yeah, why is one blaspheme and the other a legit sign?

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  4. Olivia4:34 AM

    You are just going to use any excuse you can to post that dog's butt pic aren't you? I didn't read any of the comments on the dog's butt pic but I forwarded it to lots of people. Sorry if you got abused for it, I think it is funnier than hell and just as significant(maybe more) as a piece of toast or that tree trunk.

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  5. Anonymous4:43 AM

    Oh my freaking head.

    It's like seeing 'leadership' in Sarah by the faithful, but everyone else is a skeptic.

    And yes bots, I went there. I'll always go there, she is a lesson we always need to be mindful of so that it (she) doesn't rear its (her) head again and take you all for fools and your 'hard-earned dollars.'

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  6. angela4:44 AM

    Good grief.

    I find it sad that people find a natural image in a piece of wood more potent than their inner faith. You'd think truly spiritual people would scoff at this silliness.

    Alas.

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  7. Anonymous4:44 AM

    Is Salvador a legal resident of California US America?

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  8. Anonymous5:04 AM

    That this makes the news. . .yeah, it is a country hell bent on destroying God and keeping Christ out of Christmas.

    Anytime a believer farts, it's written up, shared and donated to.

    Yet we can't obliterate something as simple as malaria for infants and toddlers because we don't donate enough to send mosquito netting for cents on the dollar.

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  9. Anonymous5:04 AM

    They are worshiping a sap stain.

    I give up.

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  10. Long time reader, signing off, goodbye.

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  11. Gryphen, I suggest you join the church of the holiest of all, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You can find his divine noodliness in many places. I myself saw his sacred image in the seeds of a tree in New Jersey:

    http://witsendnj.blogspot.com/2009/10/myspace-glitter-graphics.html

    but I'm sure you can find his apparition in Alaska if only you look!

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  12. Frankly, it appears that God has done a better job on the dog's butt than the shakily-drawn (sorry, God)cross in the stump.

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  13. These things are all so daffy, no doubt. Giving some thought to it, though, I see the people who get excited about these supposed 'manifestations' of God are really just simple and naive, often pious and sincere in their faith, always amazingly credulous.

    There are a lot of awful people out there, cruel, self-righteous, destructive, dangerous...people with victims. These are worth attacking vigorously.

    But the simple, religious people who see Jesus in their toast...it seems we can be amused but kind about that and save our ire and indignation for those who really deserve it.

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  14. Anonymous5:49 AM

    Personally, I find this picture hilarious! I saw Jesus once on the wall at a natural hot spring I was soaking in. I pointed it out to my very religious friend, and she was offended. She thought I was mocking her beliefs (I am not christian). Later I found out she went back to see if it was still there, because she was very intrigued by it. I guess it also depends on who points out the image of god for believers to take notice. Was the dog owner religious?

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  15. Anonymous5:52 AM

    You do realize that the same thing can be found in any tree which has 4 branches growing out from the trunk at the same height from the ground, don't you. All you need to do is make your cross cut at just the right point so that the darker colored wood around the branches (also known as "knots" when the trunk is sliced lengthwise for boards) is revealed.
    Voila! The lord likes to put Jesus's cross everywhere.

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  16. Unfortunately, those simple souls remain so because their religion doesn't encourage education and rational thought. That's what is so sad about people seeking signs.

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  17. Also, how do they know they didn't just do a big God foxes paw by cutting down a "sacred" tree?

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  18. Anonymous6:08 AM

    Some people are so deep into their religion they lose all critical thinking skills. And sense of humor.
    And money.
    I remember the cornflake in the shape of some religious icon listed on Ebay.
    People really are that stupid....and greedy.

    The dog's butt is truly remarkable.
    It's also taking the usual religious icons miraculous crying, bleeding thing a notch further eh :)

    ~Canuck~

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  19. I roflmfao when I saw the original post but didn't read the comments fearing it would harsh my mellow.

    My first impression was the same as what you and many others saw but as I looked closer at the 'face' I saw Bill Clinton. Actually it pretty much screams Karl Rove too.

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  20. Anonymous6:14 AM

    The image on the dog is Sarah, in her heavy coat, when she was faking being pregnant, at the start of the Iron Dog race.

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  21. Anonymous6:16 AM

    I copied the image from the original post and sent it out in a mass text message, with the text "I found Jesus!"

    For some reason, many were not amused, either....

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  22. Anonymous6:17 AM

    Gryphen, you have issues.

    Why does this bother you so much? What do you care what others believe? Why does this matter? (And don't try to tie it to political stuff. This triviality is peripheral to that discussion, though probably legions of you will jump all over that contention.)

    I hope you focus more on your own day-to-day, your own moral code, your own belief system, rather than obsessing about others'.

    It's tiresome.

    Seems to me you can't stand to have anyone tell you you have been wrong about something. People asked for a little respect after your earlier post, and you refuse to give it. That actually says quite a bit about you, and it's disappointing.

    You want to drive anyone who doesn't agree with you on this issue away from your blog, it appears. I guess that's your choice. I guess you and your arrogant companions will be happier that way.

    Maybe you feel you don't need the traffic anymore? Maybe this is what you are reduced to? I honestly can't figure it out. I think maybe your connections to the Palin story have faded, so this is your new cause.

    It's too bad, truly. I know you feel strongly about religion, so maybe for you this is a worthwhile endeavor. Just not for a bunch of us.

    Basically it makes you seem childish, and you have absolutely damaged your credibility. It's a waste, and all simply because you couldn't restrain yourself.

    The Christians I know could care less about sacred symbols and images in tree stumps or on toast. One can always cherry pick weird behavior and attempt to apply it to a group of people. That's so easy. What's hard is to look beyond the novelty stories and examine the heart of a belief system. That's what matters, but not for you Gyphen. You just have it out for religion, and you will go to the ends of the earth to "prove" your point. Hope you enjoy the fleeting sense of superiority. It's ultimately rather empty.

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  23. Anonymous6:21 AM

    I will forever be grateful to you for helping find a way to laugh our through this period of national intolerance and bloated self-righteousness, inflicted upon us by the ignorant right-wing fundamentalist

    Your treatment of this image was perfect.

    You are my hero, you clown - and I mean that in the most respectful way

    True Blue Girl

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  24. Anonymous6:24 AM

    Sam5:31 -- You are so right. Thanks for putting it so well.

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  25. Anonymous6:39 AM

    Wellllll... it is fun to find any sort of "divine gift" and the tree is much more fun to look at than a dog butt.
    I will admit that the dog butt is very well designed and useful, but (excuse the word) as we see it practically every day we do not give it many accolades.
    It takes second place on the (excuse me again) shinny object of the day award.
    MAryW

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  26. Anonymous6:42 AM

    Sarah Palin did not give birth to Trig Palin. Fact.

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  27. Anonymous6:55 AM

    I will say it, because no one else will.
    What makes what Gryphen did SO offensive to some is that one of those pictures of a religious symbol produces shit.
    An asshole can't be a religious symbol.
    Hear that Newt, Michele, Hermain, Mitt, Rick and, the entire tea party?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Anonymous7:00 AM

    Anon 6:17. WE could ask you the same question. Why do you care what Gryphen thinks about religion??? Pot calling out the kettle again? In order for the human race to move forward and deal with our problems, we need to work within reality, people who want to pound their holy books just hold us back. Why don't you go and examine the HEART of the belief system you claim as Christian. Gryphen knows more about the true meaning of that system than any xtian I have every met and I have never met Gryphen. Get a Clue.

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  29. Anonymous7:10 AM

    Anon at 6:17, start your own blog if what Grphyen says on his offends you.
    And Birdwatcher, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

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  30. Olivia7:15 AM

    Anonymous concern troll@6:17. You need to get a sense of humor and the ability to spot tongue in cheek and/or snark.

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  31. Beldar Blaz Femur Conehead7:21 AM

    @6:17
    "It's tiresome"

    I know Gryphen can speak for himself. But, sure, his mockery could be considered juvenile. It's also harmless and he has a larger point to make.

    But, let's say he's been at it his entire life. And let's assume he's in his 20's (oops! Sorry, Gryphen! After I hit PUBLISH I realized I'd made this error.) Is 20 years of blasphemous ribbing REALLY "tiresome" compared to THOUSANDS of years of oppressive propagandizing, exploitation and violence perpetrated by many/most organized religions? I'm willing to bet that when organized religion stops being tiresome, Gryphen will stop, also, too.

    I know I will.

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  32. And I will say that shit is just a byproduct of our fueling system. Every organism produces some form of production byproduct. Jesus had an asshole. So Jesus made shit. It is just compost. People in America have weird-ass views about excrement.

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  33. Anonymous7:45 AM

    Just wondering. What happens to the guy that cut down God's sacred tree and the person that ordered it done.

    Someone's going to get it.

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  34. The picture on the canine's back end just proves that the higher power is dyslexic.

    As to the tree: big deal. It's not even as good a rendering of a cross/angel as I've seen in the snow.

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  35. Anonymous8:05 AM

    6:17 If you know what you believe to be true then you should not be offended. Ever heard of turn the other cheek? In your response, you have done the same to Gryphen as you think he has done to you. Remember: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Jesus Christ was mocked, tortured, spit upon and eventually crucified and even then he asked his God to forgive those that persecuted him. Now, who are you? Tolerance much?

    Primogen1

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  36. Anonymous8:10 AM

    Here's a tribute to the dog's behind (I've thought about this many times, over my years of loving dogs): Look at those sweet swirls. Look how clean the average dog is. Look how well designed by centuries of evolution. It's just a tiny miracle. As is the dog. In general and each one specifically.

    Ditto the tree's ability to grow in a variety of ways, picking the way that works best for it. Another minor miracle.

    Geez this little tidbit has had top spot on this blog for about 10 minutes before we turn to the more serious issue of Romney, the family dog abuser. Fun comments. I say "welcome!" to 6:17, too. Welcome to commenters with a different view, and thanks to G-man for publishing it. Y'all don't want only totally like-minded people here, do you?

    Let's hear it for views that are not in 100% agreement with our own.

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  37. lostinthemidwest8:17 AM

    My hurt feelings and I await your explanation.

    ROTFLMAO

    Good one Gryphen. I'm pretty sure after the abuse you've seen over the years, this doesn't compare.

    It's like poking a sleeping bear every winter when you question anything religious.

    When I was growing up the people who went to church had a sense of humor. What the hell happened to make them so defensive?

    Fox news? Or a crisis of their own faith?

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  38. hedgewytch8:29 AM

    I had to load up the search engine this a.m. just for giggles and see what I could find. Let's see; images of the Virgin Mary and Jesus have been sighted in moldy plaster, on a fence, on toast (love the grilled cheese jesus on glee -which was taken from an actual incident), on window reflections, rocks, even in a hubble space telescope image of a nebula (now dubbed the Jesus nebula -really I'm not kidding)

    God loves all creatures right? And he's infallible right? And it Creationism right? So I'm going with Jesus dog butt! Does that mean his poop don't stink?

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  39. Anonymous8:49 AM

    Probably over 90% of people think Jesus-sightings on burnt tortillias, and potato chips and even dogs' butts is funny. Where would Leno be without this gently derisive humor.

    The problem is that within the context of all your other rants against religion and your implied opinion that people with a religion (ANY of 'em) are STUPID, is rude and rather ignorant.

    That and the fact that people who DO see these visions are pitiful, and usually the most dis-empowered of people.

    Of course it's your blog and you're entitled, but.....you asked.

    (and I won't quit reading because I am still afflicted with Palinitis).

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  40. Anonymous9:00 AM

    C ya Birdwatcher. Oh wait, guess you are gone now.

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  41. WTF is wrong with you9:25 AM

    6:17......

    PUT DOWN THE COFFEE! AND STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER!

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  42. Poor Gryphen! I will certainly console you with words of encouragement...right after I quit laughing.

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  43. Anonymous9:47 AM

    Yeah, ok and the Escondido area is heavily immigrant Mexican in landscaping jobs and 15 years ago similar people saw Jeezuz on an empty billboard in El Cajon just down the road from Escondido..10,000 turned out, seriously. Then we had the Jeezuz on the back door of a home near Los Angeles seen when the back porch light was on. WTF For 20 yrs living in S. Cal(San Diego area) I saw this insanity all the time. It usually turns in to some sort of money maker for someone. It's nuts, sorry, but it is...to me.

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  44. Anonymous9:49 AM

    Oh and when I said heavily Mexican immigrant I'm talking heavily Catholic with a twist. The same groups see the same things. Then the other folks "begin" to "see it" too and wham we have ourselves a "enuwine" miracle! Pfft.

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  45. Anonymous @ 6:16, I'm a Christian and don't share Gryphen's views on all matters of religion, but I'm not being driven away from his site. I think the dog butt picture is hilarious, and some of the comments (sillywhabbit's "an asshole can't be a religious symbol" admonition to Michele, etc!) are so funny I can hardly stand it. It's always that way here--good posts, informative or funny, some smart and funny comments.
    Anyway, I've been reading for a couple years now and have never read anything that would make me feel driven away. And can't tell you how many times I've come to these pages feeling hopeless following some Palin thing, wondering what conservatives could be thinking, and I've left usually smiling and feeling some relief.

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  46. Anonymous10:11 AM

    Read Carl Hiaasen's book "Lucky You". Hysterical skewering of tourists to fake religious sites and sightings in Florida.

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  47. Was the gardener who found the "cross" in the wood in the US legally?

    If not, will he gain amnesty by finding a religious object...?

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  48. Paul - Minnesota10:42 AM

    Hmm, I did look at my dog's butt the other day. No Jesus on him. Whew. Yay!

    Though, the dog's tail up, it reminds me of a teddy bear I had during my childhood.

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  49. Anonymous10:42 AM

    "People of faith have eyes to see this, but skeptics do not," Corr said.

    No, skeptics can see it as well.

    But isn't a bit odd that those with FAITH need and desire physical manifestation, PROOF of something. Of that which they have FAITH and unconditional belief in.
    While skeptics look for tangible evidence; the polar opposite of faith.

    What a strange perspective that the "faithful" need more evidence than the skeptics.
    Huh.

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  50. Stay strong, Gryphen. The dog-ass Jesus is sublime.
    All god's creatures...and all that. Christianists, out there, take your Jesus where you find him and leave the rest of us with a sense of humour alone.

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  51. @6:17 Your points are well taken but I have to disagree with one point in that the evangelical and conservative Christians are now inextricably tied to politics. This from John Dean's Conservatives Without Conscience: "Without the support of Christian conservatives, Republicans cannot even get nominated to local, state and national offices, because they have become the filter through which all Republicans must pass today."

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  52. Randall12:19 PM

    You can't reason with a religious person

    ...otherwise there'd be no religious people.

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  53. Anonymous1:57 PM

    I have 2 dogs that sit on jesus- maybe god is dog.

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  54. Grey Lensman2:00 PM

    Randall: FTW!

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  55. Anonymous2:35 PM

    Perfect harmonious convergence!

    (And I am a Christian!)

    God really does have a sense of humor, it's just too bad he/she didn't give enough of it to humans from the get go. Musta been in a hurry. . .

    Haste makes waste Y-W-H!

    MicMac

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  56. Anonymous3:07 PM

    And the dog butt Jesus is right in your face! Why would a surpreme being put a picture in a tree trunk? I mean if a tree prayed in a forest, would anybody hear it??

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  57. Anonymous3:13 PM

    For all who might wish for a second Burning Bush, just sayin'. . .be careful what you wish for in the 21st Century!

    Personally, the Dog/God butt will keep me well tendered for the next hundred years.

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  58. Anonymous3:19 PM

    When I zoomed the butt pic, I saw Einstein.

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  59. Dear anonymous 6:17 -- please, please, ask Santa for a sense of humor for Christmas, eh? Or at least a thicker skin.

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  60. Anonymous4:37 PM

    My hemmorhoids make a star of David pattern on my toilet tissue....just saying

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  61. Anonymous5:37 PM

    Anon @ 6:17 AM

    Actually its quit tiresome to wade through the bullshit of you "christians" hint the little "c" is INTENTIONAL!
    You in your little bitter limited minds need to attend a church to atone for your many, many sins, instead of looking to nature and seeing the beauty in each & every one of the Goddesses creations!
    You christians also share a attitude of no sense of humor.
    Bless your hearts.
    Now STFU and go to some other blog if you don't like what Gryphen posts!

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  62. Anonymous7:02 PM

    This is the best ever! GOD - DOG, DOG - GOD. In his image, right? I knew dogs were awesome and this just proves it. I think I woke up my office mate laughing so hard. Damn, that's funny.

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  63. Anonymous7:38 PM

    6:17 apparently has issues that no one here is qualified to addressed, unless there's a psychiartrist in the house. The issue seems that Gryphen, and anyone else who thinks like him, MUST conform to a belief system that mandates that people not think, but believe in powers, things, God's etc they cannot see nor prove exists.

    Gryphen's entire premise of posting this was to emphasize that someone believed there was a sign from God in the form of a cross or angel in a tree trunk. The said stump was locked away in a sancristy (usually reserved for bread and wine that is magically turned into the body and blood of Chist, and congregants line up to cannibalize said products in the hope that doing so would make them more Christ like.

    Gryphen never suggested the same with "Dog butt image of Jesus", but I'm sure he would make a few exceptions ;o)

    Why lock the stump in a santuary? To keep it safe- while the priest finds some way to make money by displaying it, exploiting it as a "Sign from God".

    I doubt Gryphen would do that, nor even think of doing that with the more convincing image.

    Gryphen, I'm with you on this post AND on the Dog post as well. Even when I was a Christian, I didn't find anything offensive nor blasphemous in these images.

    And on another note, The tree image, for me, would take quite a stretch for me to see a cross or an angel. The dog butt on the other (latex gloved) hand, the image of Jesus is clear as day. I even had to check if it was photoshopped, and it wasn't.


    Don't change a thing, Gryphen. Your blog rocks, and these posts reflect what I like most about you, your conviction and sense of humor.

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  64. Not What You Want To Hear5:39 AM

    I guess I'll be the token regular poster that's offended by this. I understand the picture is supposed to mock people who think they see images of Jesus, but it's still disrespectful to a religion that, when you take out the hypocrites, honors a man who's first priorities were for those the least among us. I also think it's disrespectful to animals to put a picture like that out. I know, it's "just a dog" right?

    Wrong.

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  65. Anonymous8:05 AM

    I have to point out that the dog's butt-hole could just as likely be portraying Muhammad.

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  66. If there is a Creator of All, humor was certainly created by that powerful being.

    I laughed out loud for a long time at the dog's butt. I'm glad you posted it.

    The whole concept of respect for religious belief is a difficult one for me. Many people sincerely believe that I am going to spend eternity burning in hellfire, and they expect me to respect their religious beliefs. Others have a holy book that tells them that infidels like me should be hunted down and killed, and they expect me to respect their religious beliefs. Still others truly believe that they are one of god's chosen people and I am not, and they also expect me to respect their religious beliefs.

    It defies logic and human nature to expect me to respect such beliefs that denigrate me. Yet, many of us pretend to do so, in order to get along with our neighbors.

    This pretending can have dire results. Population control is virtually off the agenda of the mainstream environmental groups, in order to not offend those who believe their god told them to 'be fruitful and multiply' into infinity. No matter that our human brains can see that the Earth cannot support an infinite number of people, they willfully refuse to act on the plain evidence and trust their god to take care of all problems.

    I've actually heard someone say they never think about global warming and stuff like that, because god will take care of it. It sure was a waste for god to give that person a brain that they absolutely refuse to use, as a matter of their religious faith. I have no respect for this person's belief system, even if it is called a religion.

    Obama's health care reform is not as strong as it should be in the area of women's right to reproductive health care, due to kowtowing to religious beliefs. Don't ask me to respect those who want to control the health care of all women in the name of their manmade morality, cloaked in religion.

    In the beginning, man created god. Male people created a male god.

    Mockery is the perfect response to those who expect respect for believing in a myth, and expect deference to that myth in crafting public policy.

    Laugh on, Gryphen!

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  67. Betty Whitebread3:08 PM

    I can't believe I have to explain this.

    Once and for all: Gryphen, you are BAD and WRONG because you're violating the rules (God's, mine, everybody's) about WHERE true Christians KNOW it's a true miracle to see Jesus' image versus where it's just a rude, disgusting Lib joke to say He can be seen.

    It's only a REAL image of Jesus Christ if it shows up in some weird but natural, God-made, wholesome place.

    Like inside a tree trunk -- who would ever think to look there but there's Jesus and it really looks like Him ? That's gotta be a miracle.

    Or on a slice of toast ? How long before THAT's all covered with butter but sometimes Jesus appears on them ? Plus toast tastes really good ??? Miracle.

    Those are GODLY places Mr. Jesse Gripped-pen who hates Sarah so much it makes me want to scream sometimes.

    So you saying, Hey look, here's Jesus on a dog's behind ...?

    Everyone knows what dogs use their behinds for and Jesus Christ does NOT appear in disgusting place.

    Clutch my pearls, I can't believe I'm having to explain this in a Christian country where any REAL American should already know these rules.

    It's common sense, people ...

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